Flyin’ ‘n’ Weinin’

Writers want readers to get what they are getting at. With the briefest of setups and a quotation, fellow Naptownster by birth, Dennis Perrin, triggered a neural receptor that would have led to laughter had it not been for the concurrent cringe chemical which killed the urge. He paints a painfully vivid description of why I don’t care to be locked in a flying tin of American-made meat:

His voice rises a few octaves. “And to those military personnel aboard, we thank you for your sacrifice and patriotism.”

_________________

And lest anyone actually believe that some kind of anti-establishment hero has been taken down, I am posting excerpts from NY Rep Anthony Weiner’s Wikipedia site, with my translation following each one:

Weinerpedia
He sought to become a television weatherman, but his interests turned towards politics, and he became active in student government.

Translation
Something steered him in another direction.

Weinerpedia
He started a program to put at-risk and troubled teens to work cleaning up graffiti.

Translation
He assisted Giuliani in Disney-fying the more vibrant New York art scene.

Weinerpedia
Weiner is known to be one of the most intense and demanding members of Congress. He often works long hours with his staff fact-checking documents, resulting in one of the highest staff turn-over rates of any member of Congress, including, at one point, three chiefs of staff in 18 months.

Translation
He forces his staff to remain at work while he fucks off at the computer.

Weinerpedia
Weiner has said that a public option “gets you some of the way” towards reducing costs…

Translation
He also agreed with his president – who never had any intention of signing a public option – that selling out to the insurance industry is a victory for “the perfect not being the enemy.”

Weinerpedia
…and set up a web site to push for the public option in HR 3200.

Translation
He sometimes had more than one tab open on his browser.

Weinerpedia
Weiner attracted wide attention when, on February 24, 2010, he proclaimed in front of Congress: “Make no mistake about it, every single Republican I have ever met in my entire life is a wholly owned subsidiary of the insurance industry.”

Translation
He decided that including Democrats in the statement would be too bipartisan.

Weinerpedia
Weiner voted for the authorization to use force in Iraq in 2002, which he later said he regretted. In a conversation with talk show host Bill O’Reilly on The O’Reilly Factor, Weiner proposed a withdrawal from Iraq.

Translation
Having his cake and eating it on television, he insured that he’d be the enemy of FOX viewers everywhere, solidifying his liberal cred.

Weinerpedia
In May 2006, Weiner attempted to bar entry by the Palestinian delegation to the United Nations. He claimed that Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas did not represent the PLO, and implied that this was because the group is listed as a terrorist organization by the US State Department. Weiner further stated that the delegation “should start packing their little Palestinian terrorist bags.” Weiner went on to claim that Human Rights Watch, the New York Times, and, in particular, Amnesty International are biased against Israel.

Translation
Israel takes precedence, even if it makes him look bat-shit crazy to almost everyone else.

Weinerpedia
Weiner, along with several other members of Congress, have criticized the Obama administration proposal to sell over $60 billion in arms to Saudi Arabia.

Translation
See, the Clintons have absolutely no influence over me!

Weinerpedia
Weiner is a friend of actor Ben Affleck, whom he met while Affleck was researching this role for the film State of Play, in 2008. “We got into a chest-to-chest shouting match over Obama–Clinton within about four minutes. Literally, people were outside the office wondering if they should go in and separate us,” Weiner has said about one of their first encounters.

Translation
Theatre of the absurd: pretending like it mattered.

Weinerpedia
In June 2008, Weiner sponsored a bill that would increase the number of O-visas available to foreign models. Weiner argued that increasing the number of visas would help boost the fashion industry in New York City.

Translation
Has a raging hard-on.

Weinerpedia
Weiner voted against the Tax Relief, Unemployment Insurance Reauthorization, and Job Creation Act of 2010. He said the Republicans turned out to be “better poker players” than Obama.

Translation
Knowing they had the votes already, he continued to pretend that the president would have it any other way.

Weinerpedia
Weiner married Huma Abedin, a longtime personal aide of Hillary Clinton, on July 10, 2010. Former president Bill Clinton officiated the wedding.

Translation
“Family” loyalty recidivism on the most beautiful day of their lives.

Weinerpedia
By July 2010, Weiner had reportedly raised $3.9 million for a potential campaign in the 2013 mayoral election, and was considered a leading contender in early polls. However, his sexting scandal has caused this to be cast into doubt.

Translation
Maybe it’s just a New York thing.

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